areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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