It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
