Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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