Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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