1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
