Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
