yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
