the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
