i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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