But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
