What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
