Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
