how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I take back everything I said about communal showers
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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