what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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