We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
