you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
