Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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