when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
They have beer where we have blood.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
