Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
