so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
