Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
