omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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