If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
