So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
