No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
