i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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