Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
