quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
