I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
