I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
