I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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