Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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