THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
