I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
