Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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