There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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