Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
