the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
