I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
