maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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