just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
