Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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