he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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