i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
