Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
In America we eat man semen.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i out mim tonsoeep
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