She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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