HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
