great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
