I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
