Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
