I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize