Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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