What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
