Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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