My friends, they love my intelligence
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
this must be what syphilis tastes like
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
